From time to time during your writing career you may find yourself interviewing people about certain topics that are very disturbing to talk about. Occasionally, it is because they are physically unpleasant or embarrassing. Sometimes it is because they are emotionally wrenching. No matter what the case may be, you as the writer have a great challenge ahead of you: to make your guests feel comfortable enough to share sensitive, intimate experiences with you so readers can benefit from them.

A bunglesum interviewer, trampling on the guest’s sensibilities, will not only not get a good story, but can also do some great damage to the client, who may never again trust anyone enough to open up. A skilled and likable interviewer, on the other hand , will not only extract a moving story from the guest, but may actually help him or her come to terms with an experience kept hidden or subdued for years.

As a result of of these often painful interviews, I have developed an approach to such tender interviewing and some helpful tips to make such interviews easier for me and for the guest, and more generative.

I believe that the number one rule for any type of interview, particularly a sensitive one, is the show of respect for the guest sitting across from you. Always keep in mind that he or she doesn’t owe you anything. In most cases your guest is telling his or her story out of the simple desire to help others deal with the same or a similar situation, with no hopefulness of any kind of reward. The guest, therefore, has a right to decide how much to share. While a the interviewer you can encourage the sharing and make it as free of stress as possible, you must not try to pressure the person to reveal more than he or she is willing to.

The guest has the right to end the interview at anytime they like, or say, “I do not want to talk about that”-and you must respect that decision. There are some things you can do to make a sensitive interview as tension-free as possible for the guest, and at the same time,get the imformation you need to write and honest and moving piece.

–Since it is absolutely essential to use a digital voice recorder or (tape recorder) during the interview- especially if there are likely to be legal aspects to the project-ask the guest first for permission to do so, explaining that you want to be sure your quotes are accurate. But just make sure you get the permission on tape before hand.

–Being prepared is important. Never ever just try to “wing” it. Learn as much as you can about the person in advance. If the story is likely to have a psychological or medical slant, do your research: Familiarize yourself with the problem and the various treatments and side effects. In dealing with a social problem-child abuse,spouse battering,etc.- read current background material all all aspectsof it.

–Prepare all your questions carefully ahead of time. Start with the general, less threatening questions and move on to those dealing with the more difficult, personal aspects of the experience. Begin by asking about the guest’s childhood and the issues that led up to the traumatic experience. This will help loosen up your guest and get the conversation flowing.

–When you arrive at the interview, the guest will be more than likely nervous. A warm smile, a handshake “not a death grip”, and a friendly comment-”I am so happy to meet you; I think it is wonderful that you are willing to bare your soul with others”-will go a long way toward putting the guest at ease.

–If your guest is especially nervous, face-up to the fact-do not ignore it-saying,”I know this must be difficult for you. That’s understandable. Many people are uneasy at first, but it won’t be as hard as you might think.”

–Start with a disclaimer, if you think it will help. Say, frankly, “I hope you will want to share your thoughts and feelings, but I will not pressure you to say anymore than you want to. “If you have agreed to anonymity for the guest, stress at the outset that you will not, under any circumstances, break the promise.

–Use broad, general questions at first, asking such non-threatening quesions as, “tell me a little about yourself: Where are you from? What was it like growing up in your family? How did you get along with you siblings? Parents? If this leads to an appropriate opening, you might follow the answer with, “Can you tell me a little more about that?” Obviously avoid questions that can be answered with “yes” or “no.” Have a summary question ready for the end-”What is the most important effect this experience has had on you? What is the most helpful thing you would like to share with others?”

–Move gradually, in chronological order, through the part of the guest’s life that is relevant to the story being told. If the guest wanders and gets off track, bring the interview back to the main topic by saying something like, “We are going to get to that in a minute, but right now I would like to hear more about-.” A little humor never hurts: “Hold on a bit; we are getting way ahead of ourselves.”

–When you are ready to deal with the sensitive topic, warn the guest by saying, “we now have come to the point where I need to ask you some more specific questions about what happened.” If the guest become emotional, confront that directly,saying, “Go ahead and cry if you feel like it. I certainly understand. I would of cried,too,in that situation. “Do not try to hide your emotional reaction; If you actually do respond with tears,that’s O.K. I have never done a sensitive interview in which the guest cried and I didn’t shed a few tears,myself.

–Give your guest plenty of time to respond to your questions. If he or she stops at a critical point, pause,too, and then make a casual comment to start the conversation flowing again: “That must have been very hard for you. What happened next?” Keep your voice warm and sympathetic.

–Never make a judgmental comment. Obviously, remarks like, “How could you have done that!” are taboo, but so are even subtle gestures or verbal responses, no matter how repellent you may find what the guest says.

–Get on tape the guest’s wishes about using real names in your feature.

–When you have finished the interview, thank the person warmly, and leave your card so she or he can reach you if she wishes to give you more information. Do not be reluctant to call her back for clarification or more details. Store the tapes in a fireproof safe. It is not advisable to show the guest a transcript of the tape recording or the manuscript prior to it’s publication.

Sharing the darker side of pain often helps the teller and the reader to know that they are not alone, that other human beings have had similar experiences and survived.

Author by Frank DiPiazza