Q. Although my supervisor is basically a good person whose heart is in the right place, I have very little respect for him. Not only is he a micromanager but he also favors the people who pay him compliments and fawn all over him.

Today, I just couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him any longer. He got me so upset that I was actually shaking. I said I wasn’t feeling well and asked to leave early.

I have complained to the department manager twice, but nothing has changed. I work in a dying industry, so it would be hard to find another position as stable as this one. Do you have any advice?

A. Some of your anger and resentment may come from feeling trapped in your job.

When options for escape are limited, people often take out their frustration on the nearest annoying object. In this situation, that would be your boss.

If jobs in your field are vanishing, leaving a stable position would be risky. Your best option may be to reduce your daily stress by learning to “manage up” more effectively.

First, you will need to lower your expectations and accept your supervisor as he is.

Remember that bosses are just people, with strengths and weaknesses like everyone else. If you suddenly became the manager, your own leadership style would undoubtedly frustrate some employees.

Next, take the initiative to build a better relationship with him. You’ve already identified his motivators, so make use of that knowledge. Since he responds well to attention and compliments, try being nice to him.

If your supervisor is “basically a good person,” you can surely find some positive traits to appreciate. And if you treat him the way he likes to be treated, you may find that he treats you better as well.

Q. In our four-person office, one employee is habitually late every morning. The rest of us work a full eight hours, so we are tired of her tardiness. Otherwise, we all get along fine. Our boss doesn’t see us arrive, so he has no clue that she is always late. We believe she is taking advantage of this situation. What should we do?

A. Your tardy colleague may have no idea that you’re upset, so give her a chance to change her ways. All three of you should meet with her and provide feedback in a calm, straightforward manner.

For example: “Your coming in late every day doesn’t seem fair to the rest of us. However, we wanted to talk with you directly instead of going to the manager. We would really appreciate it if you could be here at 8:30 like everyone else. Is that possible?”

If she becomes angry or defensive, simply change the subject. Having given her fair warning, you can always go to your boss if the problem continues.

Q. My boss recently told me that I’m not management material. Although I don’t have a degree, I have years of experience and have trained many people. I get along with everyone and frequently receive positive feedback about my work. When I joined this company, the business was just starting to take off. Because of the growth, they are now planning to hire other people to help with my work. I feel that I could supervise them, but my boss says no. How do I become management material?

A. Don’t be discouraged by this initial rejection. Rapidly growing companies often lack the time to guide novice managers through the learning curve, so they hire experienced outsiders. However, continued growth will bring more opportunities. Here’s how to prepare:

• Start educating yourself, because there’s a lot to learn about leadership. Look for books, Web sites or workshops that focus on management topics. Identify the best managers in your company and study their behavior. If at all possible, start working on that degree.

• Tell your boss that becoming “management material” is one of your goals. Ask what he looks for in a manager, then try to demonstrate those characteristics. If you have a professional human resources department, schedule a career discussion with the HR manager.

• Seek out opportunities to lead committees or spearhead projects. This will not only strengthen your résumé, but it will also sharpen your leadership skills.

Finally, don’t let your pessimistic boss dampen your ambitions. His lack of interest in your development indicates that he could use some leadership training himself.

Author: Marie G. McIntyre is a workplace coach. Send in questions and get free coaching tips at www.yourofficecoach.com.