Cheating, according to the my Dictionary is defined as having a romantic emotional or physical relationship with another being outside of ones primary commitment unbeknownst to ones partner and also, I might add, while still holding onto ones primary relationship.

I tried to think of some exceptions, as relationships can be somewhat complicated, and I thought of these exceptions to this definition.

If you are still married due to other reasons i.e., your mate is living in long term care because of some debilitating disease such as Alzheimer’s, or some other mental of physical disability.
Danger or some physical retaliation by the other mate.
Divorce is denied by one mate.
So there you have it, it is either through extreme love and devotion or fear that excuses infidelity or cheating in marriage. Now that we are on the same page about what cheating is let’s breakdown the reasons why people decide to cheat.

If you are married or committed to someone physically and emotionally and you step outside of that commitment to develop other physical and or emotional bonds with someone you find sexually attracted, then that is cheating. It doesn’t matter if it’s only emotional or only physical, or just a touch of the physical with a lot of talking and sharing and going into psychological areas that are usually off limits to anyone else but your mate. It’s still cheating.

I’ve clearly defined cheating as best as I could because people undoubtedly will lie to themselves and one another and actually try to rationalize those lies. They will tell themselves that they cheat because the wife at home isn’t being the submissive wife they thought they married and, now they have these kids together and a house and staying together is just easier than getting a divorce, and besides what would the family or the neighbors think if everyone knew they wanted to divorce.

They will tell themselves that their man at home isn’t emotionally available any longer but rather than seek out family or couples counseling, sliding inside the sheets of a “friend” is much easier done.

Why couples cheat on one another or why one person decides to do the unthinkable is not as complicated as the mess they create when they decide to cheat. I’ve composed a list of the most obvious reasons why people cheat themselves out of a relationship rather than do the work necessary to make their commitment work.

People cheat because of:

1. Lack of Integrity (find a dictionary and look the word integrity up and think about this one)
   Selfishness (it’s all about what they want even if it’s at the expense of someone else, including that new and more exciting “friend.”)
2. Extremely low self-esteem
3. Emotional Immaturity
4. Lack of Self-Awareness
5. Laziness
6. Misinformation
7. Those are some pretty telling reasons why a person decides to cheat. They are already in a bad place before the cheating starts but the actual cheating is just the physical evidence that these people are not taking the time to care for themselves on a very deep, emotional, and spiritual level. And as a response they act out at a very critical time when they should be acting inward.

When you go to bed tonight and sleep beside the person you have made that commitment to or, when you sit across from one another at the breakfast table in the morning reading the paper and drinking that fresh orange juice, are you the person they think you are or are you a fraud? You decide.

Are you ready to attract to you people in your life who are self aware? Do you want a mate who has moved beyond cheating and deceit and lives with the reality of wholeness and abundance? If so, go here:

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Felecia Townsend is a relationship enthusiast and personal coach. She has spent years learning the art of successful relationships and through her philanthropic writing is giving back to the community that has given her so much.

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By Felecia Townsend

Felecia Townsend
Level: Platinum

Felecia Townsend is the author of “The Art of Endurance,” a book which chronicles the hidden path to personal freedom.